“Women were created to please men”
This is the general thought many men walk around with even if they refuse to say it out loud (no thanks to female emancipation). This is the thought many women believe hence the urge they have to ensure their relationships work out at all cost. This is the thought society has thrived on – that women are lesser beings whose purpose are only found when they find a man. Just like the life of a Christian is useless if he’s not serving God, the life of a woman amounts to nothing if she has no man to serve. When she does have a man to serve, if she is not doing everything he wants to please him, she is missing the core of her existence- the real reason she was created, the exact calling on her life, the mandate of her destiny.
Women are lesser beings. We were created to get married, listen to the well-laid rules by men, try our possible best to abide by the rules, and then over-compensate when we fail.
I have heard the rules many times from men: “when I get married, my wife has to do my laundry by handwashing”, “When I get married, I expect my meals to be freshly prepared everyday, and the dishes done right after I am done eating”, “when I get married, I expect my wife to wake up every morning, clean the house, pack up my lunch, get the kids ready for school and make sure my shirt is ironed before I am done taking a shower”. Don’t rule out the fact that you may need to change his boxers when he’s too tired to do so himself, and might have to be waiting at the door, drink in hand, ready to greet him after a long day you’ve both had. He is the king of the castle, and you are not the princess he wooed, but the servant he employed. The rules are set; the mandate of the purpose is defined. Your cage is built and your individuality is non-existent
Any woman who dares to question these rules is asked the one question that will set her aback for a moment.
“If you cannot do these things, what are you contributing to the marriage?”
It is hilarious when this question comes up because it appears that the only contributions a woman can make to marriage are those of a domestic nature. If she’s not cooking, cleaning, doing the laundry by handwashing, packing his lunch, and treating him like her adopted grown son, what exactly is she bringing to the table?
You’ve probably realized the sad truth: many men still believe that women have nothing more to give except sex, childbearing and culinary skills. Women cannot contribute financially or intellectually; women are not expected to be successful. But even more shocking is the realization these thoughts have shown about men.
Men are unable to chuck their own clothes in the washing machine, or handwash their own delicates. Men are unable to eat food that has been refrigerated, and are unable to quickly whip something up on their own. It gets even weirder from here on. Men are unable to wash their own dishes after eating, iron their own shirts, or help get the kids ready for school. Men are unable to function on their own, so they get married to a woman who will do all these things for them, while they continue to ride the false wave of masculinity society keeps feeding them with.
Of course there is nothing wrong with doing the dishes or cooking or any of the other mundane tasks that need to be done around the house. There is however a problem when these tasks are stated as obligations that must be fulfilled by ONLY one party, because the other party believes his partner has nothing else to contribute.
Are we getting married so I can do all your laundry? Or are we getting married because you need a companion you can speak to about issues, make decisions with, build a life with and partner with? Do you understand my brain is functional, and is capable of more than picking which cereal the family should have for breakfast?
It is a false ideology that women were created to serve men, and if you are a man reading this, it is time to rid yourself of it completely. If you are choosing a spouse solely based on her ability to fulfill mundane tasks you can do yourself (if you’d just get off the couch), then you are setting your relationship up for failure. Not only will she lose her lustre for life because she has been reduced to your expectations, you will get bored for the same reason- she has been reduced to your expectations and there’s nothing exciting about them.
Expect more from your spouse. She was not created to serve you; she was created to partner with you. She is not there to fulfill your every expectation if they do not agree with her; she is there to find common ground with you. She is not there for a king-servant relationship; she is there for a king-queen connection. Your patriarchal expectations and entitlements? Chuck them in the bin. You don’t need them if you want a woman who will give a new zest for life, new courage, new idea, and new grounds to break. You won’t need them if you need a woman who will add value to you just like you add to hers. You won’t need them if you want a woman who knows she has a lot more to contribute to your life than laundry and dishwashing. XOXO. Before you leave, check out Ariel’s “share the load” video below