When it comes to life, people, jobs, and anything else that can play on my emotions, I have one simple rule – “the moment you start to act in an unbecoming manner, or you find yourself evolving into someone/something else, it’s time to cut your losses and move on.”
This rule has always worked for me; perhaps it is one of the reasons why people get frustrated with me when I don’t rise to the occasion of anger, emotional outbursts of unnecessary slander, and fist fights. Nope, you would not catch me engaging in any of those. If I need to give a piece of my mind, I will do so as calmly as possible and be on my way. But of course you’re not here to read about how I handle conflict or emotional displays of strife in my life. You are here to read about Janet Bond, and possibly find out who she is. No need to keep you in suspense- You are Janet Bond. You and the many other women who have let the failure of their relationships push them to the brink of insanity.
I’ve always known that women are not always big fans of one another. Placing a seemingly superior woman in a room full of seemingly ‘normal’ women can turn the room green with envy. O yes, there is such a thing as collective envy where women hate on someone they perceive as superior, not because she’s a bad person but because you know… she swishes into the room like she owns the place and comes across as ‘off-ish’. That really does not surprise me. It’s not normal for me, but it’s not surprising. What surprises me is the women who date and marry philandering men, or force men to be with them, and then proceed to stalk, threaten and possibly maim any other woman that man comes in contact with.
Yes, those are the Janet Bonds… they can tell you how many parts per million of oxgen their man inhales in a day, his resting heart rate, and the color of his poo. They check the car mileage to be sure he went to work and nowhere else; they divert his calls to their phone just so they can yell at any female voice on the other end. Yes, they actively seek out any woman they think might take their place, and proceed to announce that they are married to the man in question, and have no plans whatsoever of relinquishing their position. It doesn’t matter if she’s just his buddy or even a client; the lines must be drawn and she must know who calls the shots where the mister is concerned.
Dear Janet Bond, please stop! Stop before you go over the wall into full insanity. Stop before you end up in a psychiatric hospital chained to a bed, with doctors administering sedatives to keep you normal. Your public displays, stalking, and emotional tantrums are all you need to see that your relationship is not working. No, it’s not because of his female friend or his female colleague. It’s because he doesn’t care enough for you and deep inside you know it. You are already insecure in the fact that he just does not love you anymore, but at this point, the thought of starting over is just too daunting. Where will you begin and with who? How will you piece every part of you back together? Yes, these are the thoughts that fuel your unbecoming behavior and slowly push you to the edge of identity oblivion. These are the thoughts that slowly swirl you around in a pool of insanity. Of course you’ll find friends who will join you. They will help you hatch plans on how to catch out this other woman who does not exist. They will help you monitor him and report to you with alacrity should he dare smile at any other woman! Afterall, if you are able to chase off any woman close to him, he’ll have no choice but to stay with you.
Janet Bond, G.I. Jane, or whatever identity you may have evolved into, let me just say it is time to go on a retreat, on holiday, or best still, cut your losses and move on. Surely, the loss of a relationship cannot result in the loss of your identity. Or should I rather say it should not result in the loss of your identity. It is not your duty to wade women off your man. He’s a man, not a toddler. If he’s a cheater, stalking all his female friends won’t stop him. Threatening him/ them, or all of them while you have them bound in chains will not help either. It will not make him love you, and it definitely will not make him hate them (whoever they are). It will not fix your relationship or make it the fairy tale you want it to be. It will not change the fact that he’s just not into you anymore and has psychologically and emotionally departed from the relationship. You need to bring yourself back from the brink of insanity. Don’t go overboard just yet.
Love yourself enough to leave when love is no longer being served.
What exactly are you afraid of? That you will not find another him? That’s OK! You can find someone better! You are beautiful, strong, and a rare gem. If he can’t see it, it’s not your duty to make him. Your duty is not to make a relationship survive to avoid being ostracized by society. Your duty is not to chase away the skirts, or constantly make a fool of yourself, or even end up with a murder charge on your head. Your duty in this life is to yourself first and foremost – to know your worth and love yourself; to know what you bring to the table so you can have the courage to eat alone should the need arise.
Love yourself enough to leave when love is no longer being served. Drop the Janet Bond identity and just be you. A man already knows who he wants. If it’s you, he’ll definitely know where to find you. All your theatrics, emotional manipulation and stalking will not help. and Oh! Just by the way, it is impossible to steal a man. Men leave; they don’t get stolen. XOXO