Growing up, I found it a lot easier to relate with boys than with girls. Boys were free, easy to handle, hardly got offended, and were just fun to be around. Of course, girls were fun too! I was lucky to be blessed with girlfriends I could easily get along with. Luckily for me,many of my female friends back then had similar character traits to my male friends. We were mischievous, care-free, and free of judgment. It was a very simple time that I miss dearly sometimes. If only I could go back to being 14 when all I really cared about was tormenting my tutor, and reading Shakespeare. These days, I have come to learn that female friendships, especially when formed after the early twenties phase come with a lot of surprises, questions, weird adjustments, and downright unnecessary arguments. This is why I believe women can take some lessons from men. As a matter of fact, it is imperative that we do!
Lesson #1: Two male strangers with the same shirt at a party become friends – I cannot say the same for my fellow women. It seems like there is a need to prove superiority over other women, and wardrobe is one of the sectors where we must prove ourselves. Seriously, it is the dumbest thing ever. You are aware that except you get Ralph Lauren to personally design your wardrobe, someone out there has exactly the same clothing item right? So what’s the big deal? Why can’t we shake hands like men would, hug each other and NOT compare prices or store quality? Just have a good time and take pictures. Life’s too short to hate on a stranger for wearing the same shirt as you.
Lesson #2: With men, there’s no gossip; gist is simply what it is- gist! With women, it’s a different plot and tale altogether. Have you ever noticed that men can sit and talk about their friends, laugh about it, leave, and none of them would sneak a call later in the day to say “Hey they were discussing you today”. Yeah! With women, there’s that one person that brings out the gossip in simple gist. Before you can roll your tongue twice, it becomes a battle of “she said, you said” Seems we are only safe around each other if we are discussing the weather and cooking recipes.
Lesson #3: Men don’t watch what they say around each other. For real, they don’t. I still keep a good group of male friends, and I have noticed they speak freely. Yes, some egos might be bruised, but it’s often taken in the good faith that they all have good intentions towards one another, and before you know it, it is water off a duck’s back. With women, it’s like cow dung stuck on grass! There’s the fear of hitting a nerve or a sore spot even with the purest of intentions. This is because women for some reason assume other women have it out for them, hence they listen to every word, every breath, every sigh, and if possible, everything you did not say. Is it me or is that just a great recipe for migraines? #NoTime
Lesson #4: Men are loyal; they support each other even without proof. I cannot count the number of times I have heard my male friends say “X can’t do that; I just know he can’t”, even though they are not sure. With women, yes sometimes, there’s that “I don’t think she can do that”, but with the right persuasion, it becomes “Hey.. it’s possible who knows if she is telling the truth” Yeah, we are all guilty of this one. Seriously we need re-programming! This is why it is so easy to come between female friends than it is to come between male friends. More often than not, women are quick to put knives in each other’s backs, and hilariously enough, they are willing to do so to support men. Yeah.. that’s just messed up.
Lesson #5: After marriage, men stay friends – I am yet to meet a guy who cut off his male friends (single/married) after tying the knot. For most women, the sanitation begins as soon as they arrive from the honeymoon. Many single friends get axed for petty reasons or no reasons at all. Sometimes, it’s due to the delusion of grandeur of a married status; sometimes it is due to the insecurity and fear of becoming a classic victim of husband-snatching. Whatever the reason may be, it is idiotic please. Women need each other more after marriage! Sometimes your single friend is your most objective friend when you find yourself in a sticky situation. Men hardly ever cut off their friends out of insecurity, sense of achievement or fear, so why do we women do it? #QuestionForTheGods
Lesson #6: Men hang out; and NO it’s not because they want others to see their new Prada boots, or get a whiff of their Thierry Mugler . Men hang out for the sake of hanging out; no ulterior motives whatsoever; no desire to prove superiority; in fact, men can hang out in their PJs, and have fun. Men don’t mind being cooped up in the house playing PlayStation games. Ah with women, hanging out can be difficult simply because everyone is wondering what will be said about them the following day. Women will actually refuse to hang out with their friends if they believe their friends are doing better in life. No I’m not kidding. I’ve met these people. It seems women find it burdensome to hang out together. They would rather rush home to be with men who end up leaving to hang out with their buddies. A top executive once told me this is the reason men succeed at work better than women. They go out, sign deals over beers or golf, and meet VIPs just by watching soccer at a local pub. Women? Not so much. We would rather sit alone at home watching Telemundo than sit with our friends to FREELY discuss whatever burdens we are carrying. It is hilarious that some women refuse to hang out with their friends so they can be considered as desirable wife material. Lord help us! #Can’tDeal
The truth is that many women would survive better in relationships, their careers, and life in general if they adopted some of these ‘male rules’ in their relations with other women. Women, my fellow women! Let us learn to love and support one another. Stop fishing for hurt where there isn’t any, and stop assuming every woman out there is out to get you. Yes, there are some crazies you must avoid, but there are also many sincere people you can connect with. Reach out to a fellow woman today. XOXO