Remember that big idea you had? The one that got you so excited, you could hardly contain yourself? The one that got you dancing alone in your room in the middle of the night because you just couldn’t believe you’ve figured out something so easy that could change your life for good?
Now do you remember how you slowly lost your enthusiasm for your idea and found yourself once again succumbing to life’s pressure of walking the path most walked by others. With time, your idea, your excitement and your dreams fade into thin air, and it is only natural that we would blame life for how our lives have turned out, and the fact that we just can’t find any ways around the obstacles to achieve our dreams. I have recently discovered that we alone are to blame for our loss of momentum, and below are five habits that keep us from achieving our dreams:
- We hate to ask: For anything that we feel is too big that is! The only things standing between us and achieving some of our goals are sentences that start with “can you please help…?” or “may i have/use/try…” The reason for this is one of two things: pride or fear. Many of us, even in our mediocre ‘nothing-ness’ like to believe we are better than others, hence asking for help is an abomination. Sadly, we were created in a world full of other humans because to achieve our purpose, we need the help and upliftment of others. If we didn’t, we would have been created as lone rangers in deserts.
- Fear: Fear is a big issue many of us hate to admit we have. I have to say, I am scared too of being rejected after putting myself out there, but it has never for once gotten in my way of trying. The truth is I learned from many events in my life that if you don’t ask for something the answer will always be NO!
- Lack of pro-activity: Do you find yourself constantly waiting and seeking someone who will take you on and help you out? Perhaps it’s time to start asking how you can help yourself. For months, I dreamed about mentoring youths. I am not exactly old but there are many things I went through in my youth that made me wish I had a mentor I could talk so. I thought of posting videos on youtube, but I am still learning how not to roll my eyes at the camera…it’s tougher than you think. But what I have learned is that no one will hand you anything until you set yourself in motion. So I approached my boss, and asked if I could start a mentor network for the students I currently lecture. He agreed! And before I knew it, my mentor network took off. All I had to do was ask and take some initiative. What’s your big idea? You could start in your own little space and achieve it in your own little way. It is only a matter of time before it expands and changes your life completely
- Lack of self-confidence: The problem many of us have is that we lack confidence, or should I rather say we have a phobia for confidence. Being confident can truly be scary especially when you find yourself in a very competitive world filled with people who are more experienced at what you are just about to start out on. It may be difficult for you to assemble yourself in one piece in such testing situations but here is a secret: You can only increase your confidence by doing the things that terrify you over and over again. No confident enough to even raise your hand in class and utter the right answer to your teacher’s question, it’s high time you start! The truth is that a lack of self-confidence is a myth that grows in the mind and arrests it, crippling its host and ensuring that life-changing achievements are kept at bay.
The truth about life is that you can be whatever you want, wherever you want. You can be great if you dare, and you can change the world if you wish. The important thing to remember in all of this is to accept that you will make mistakes along the way, and you will struggle with your dream at some point. The fact that it is a dream aligned with your purpose does not mean there won’t be obstacles. There will be! You just need to ensure that you keep moving, don’t stop cruising, and always have a song in your head that everything will be alright (In Taylor Swift’s words 😉 XOXO