Are You The Female Buddy That Just Won’t Quit?

Boyfriend-Friends-Girl-Who-Likes-HimIt’s awesome to have a best friend, and I suppose many people enjoy being a best friend to someone. However, when you are a guy’s best female buddy, things are likely to get a little complicated. Nah…scratch that, they can get really really complicated.  I have valid reasons to believe many women become friends with men that tick a lot of qualities on their list of wants. They spend time hanging out with these men, laughing at jokes and sharing common interests. It is only a matter of time before that tingling sensation called a crush starts to overwhelm such women, and they soon find themselves at the receiving end of un-reciprocated love. Being women, we hang around hopefully waiting for the day he’ll look into our eyes and whisper sweet nothings in our ears. We watch him have flings with air-heads, and console ourselves because we have the intelligence factor. We watch him date physically unfit women with bulging love handles, and smile to ourselves… ‘he’ll be back. I take better care of my body.’ We  even watch him date women that do not necessarily share his interest in politics or Human Rights laws, and of course this gives the assurance that he will get tired one day and realize everything he needs is in his best female buddy.


I have seen women do many pathetic things, things that made me stare open-mouthed for minutes, and in some cases, things that made me pace from one end of the room to the other for no particular reason, but this… this best female buddy cramped up with emotions thing, has to be the most pathetic one of all. Why do we cause ourselves unnecessary pain, unnecessary delay and unnecessarily deny ourselves a chance to live and love as we should? We hang around waiting, we compare eligible men with our best buddy, and it may not matter if they have it all, they just won’t be good enough.

Well, it’s OK if you want to waste your time, hanging around like a puppy, and wagging your tail whenever he smiles at you, but what irks me is the scrutiny and competition that arises when a real girlfriend walks into your male buddy’s life. I always say whoever said men are competitive did not spend any time studying women. For some reasons, female buddies tend to believe their male best friend is their territory, and they need to pee all around him to keep off any intruders. They squirm when they meet the girlfriend, they scrutinize her, and look out very keenly for her flaws. It wouldn’t matter if she’s a nun, they’d find some shortcomings and employ the friendship strategy to convince their male buddy to let her go. If that doesn’t work, they become a ball of emotions and start to confess feelings no one cares to know about…. Guys aren’t stupid, before you start spewing larva like a volcano, they already know what’s happening . They don’t need to hear the news flash from you.

I have nothing against opposite sexes being best buddies; as a matter of fact, for most of my teenage and post-teenage life, my buddies were from the opposite sex. What I never did though was hang around like a puppy, wagging my tail and expecting any of them to fall helplessly in love with me. Of course I got a few stares from the girlfriends and sometimes got the cold attitude that could make the world freeze over, but it never really mattered, I was never into of my male buddies…that’s why they were my male BUDDIES.

If you are one of the female buddies that venomously tries to destroy your male buddy’s relationships, in the hope that he’d notice you, it’s time to retire, and quit wasting your life in an unnecessary long term wait. Your male buddy will probably never find you attractive enough to date if you keep hanging around him like ants on sugar. If he’s dating other ladies, even if they seem to be air-heads, it’s proof that he’s not into you! As far as he’s concerned, you are not in the friend zone, you are in the family zone! Go out, live your life, date other guys, do what makes you happy. Don’t hang around your male buddy trying to modify yourself to suit his taste, with the hope that he will see you have all he wants and will quit chasing other women.

If you do choose to hang around him, no qualms. You can be his best man on his wedding day…because that’s most likely how he sees you- as another buddy he can punch on the back and perhaps give a wedgie should the opportunity present itself. Quit, and let him be. He’s your buddy, not your property!