A note to men

As a woman, I can only imagine how good it feels to not have to chase after skirts once you become successful; the skirts come chasing and being a specie with a third leg that does most of the thinking, you find it hard to wade off all the attention. Scrap that! You bask in the attention showered on you by women of different genre – the lady with the meagre self-esteem that looks up to you for completion, the Miss that enjoys sitting in your car and taking a ride around all the hot spots in town, the club-hoppers, the ‘available for a three-some’ best buddies and…you know the rest, fill in the gap.

You cannot be blamed for being chased; afterall, it is not your fault. All you did was to make yourself more attractive which really there is no law against. However, your attractiveness is not a license to make stupid mistakes. Yes, I call them mistakes because you also call them that.

To all men who are single and mingling, I have a request to make of you,. If you are not serious about her, don’t chase her. I have seen many cases and been in a few myself of where a man sweeps a lady off her feet and then hands her the broom – Oh yes! It suddenly becomes her turn to sweep him off his feet. The roles are reversed and now she has to do the chasing. Of course, we ladies fall hard when we fall in love and find it hard to understand why prince Charming has suddenly become a frog. No matter how much we kiss the frog, he doesn’t turn back into a prince; why? because he doesn’t want to. So please dear men stop living by the saying

“Breaking your heart is the last thing I would do because it’s the last thing on the list”. A little empathy would be nice.

Don’t take a single girl, who is happy and full of life and turn her into a dull and lifeless zombie. Don’t suck the life out of her with your emotional unavailability. If you can’t accept her the way she is, then stay the way you are. Don’t chase her and try to change every little detail about her. If she is skinny when you meet her, don’t make her eat, become an ‘umba-bumba’ and then disappear into thin air, leaving her with her desk covered with loads of diet books and exercise kits that she wouldn’t have needed before meeting you. If she is dark-skinned when you meet her, don’t ask her to bleach her skin because you like light-skinned girls. Dude, there are millions of light-skinned women out there. Go for what you want.

Please, please quit with the lies! I know many women out there blame other women for the infidelity of their partners but sometimes, men are the strategic liars behind the chaos. If you are married, make it clear! If you are in a complicated relationship, say so! If you are still nursing a broken heart from your last relationship, make it super clear! Don’t rope women into a messy situation and then abscond, leaving them to sort out the emotional trauma you have caused. It is cowardly!

One woman is enough for you. You are a man, not a powerless infant. An infant sees a box of chocolates and wants to eat them all. A man exercises self-control because he knows how terrible toothache and diarrhoea can be. Choose the woman you want and make a decision to stick with her. Women are not always easy to live with but here’s a tip: You can never go wrong with a woman after God’s heart

Lastly, be supportive rather than a douche bag. If your woman is going places, standing by her and supporting her does not make you less of a man. Being an irritant and doing unnecessarily stupid things to make her realize you are a man actually makes you less of a man. Abuse is not just about the physical, it is emotional too. Don’t break your woman, make her! Some women become engrossed in looking after others, they forget about themselves. Don’t go looking for a side dish or a spare bike to ride simply because your woman hasn’t been to the salon in a month. Rather help her with her work and get her to take time off.

Always remember “If you love a woman to the point of madness, she’ll blossom”- Brad Pitt

Perhaps some men can restore the faith of some good women out there so we don’t have to sing along to the Saturday’s song —>”A real husband is so 1999, so hard for a girl to find.” My girl sure did a good post on that one. Check it out here “A real husband is so 1999, so hard for a girl to find…”.